Feeling Blue

Today, as I write this, I’m feeling blue. Somewhere between midnight blue and deep ocean blue. 

No one wants to be sad. 

Everyone runs away from blue, from ache, from melancholy

And that’s mostly a healthy choice! I’m so glad of it. 

But sometimes it’s important to slow dance with sadness, just for a bit. 

It reminds you that you can truly feel in new places you didn’t even know could have those bluesy feelings. 

When I’m grooving with joy, in confetti colors, I see life in vibrant fuchsia, tangerine-orange, and sunshine-yellow. I feel my heart way up against my chest, leading me forward. That’s where I normally live. That’s home base for me. And I’m oh so thankful for that. So thankful because I know it’s a gift. I understand that there are some people who rarely, if ever, feel and see life in those blazing, bright colors. 

But today, I don’t feel my heart butterflying sunshine-yellow against my sternum. 

I feel a deep sinking behind my belly button. 

Perhaps I should view this, too, as a gift. Because it’s nice to know where sadness lives in me. 

I need sadness to express myself not only as an artist, but as a human.

I usually only use the confetti, joy-filled colors. But it’s important for me, and for you, to use different, deeper, and sometimes melancholy colors as well. 

I can use different colors besides the happy yellows, pinks, oranges. 

I can write and speak and sing with blue. 

Blue is a real color, just as real as pink and orange and bumble-bee-yellow. 

If I am honest, I fear that I fear sadness, and therefore ignore it. But that’s not real.

Perhaps it’s time for each of us to allow ourselves to feel blue. Not to wallow, but to experience the feelings that are truly molding us. 

It’s okay to be blue, just as long as we're not blue forever. 

What is a world made up of one color? Monochromatic. Uniform. Dull. Inconsequential. 

I want to live in vivid strokes of all colors. To be real. To be whole. To feel. 

And today, feeling means I’m feeling midnight blue. 

I’ll get back to my highlighter brights tomorrow, or the next day. But for today, I’m letting blue be beautiful.