It didn't make sense.
My head was perfectly level, perfectly at peace.
But my heart raced and my palms sweat and my shoulders hunched to reach my ears.
What was going on?
I was leaving in T minus two hours to join a cast in a professional play—exactly what I’d worked toward, dreamed of, and longed for! The company is incredible, and I’ve hoped to work with them ever since I sat breathlessly in their audience joining MacBeth in his struggle against greed and ethics as the three puppet witches cried from hell.
“This is what you want,” I told myself, even though my body was screaming otherwise. And it definitely was- how could I not be thrilled to be cast?! So why was my body freaking out, telling me that this opportunity wasn't worth the stress of it?
Sometimes the head and the heart just don’t get along. Ironic, isn’t it? They live so close to one another, and yet, they speak different languages, and seem to find no common ground.
Sometimes my head knows.
Sometimes my heart knows.
And that’s the problem, isn’t it? That it’s “sometimes,” and not “always.”
And because my head and my heart are my “sometimes” friends and “sometimes” foes, I can’t rely on them.
I need to rely on “always.”
This is the “always” Truth:
“I sought the LORD and He answered me; He delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. This poor man called, and the LORD heard him; He saved him out of all his troubles. The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear Him, and He delivers them.” -Psalm 34:4-7
That is what I can trust. That is what I can rely upon. It is unchanging, everlasting until the end of time. The LORD hears us. When we look to Him instead of ourselves, He makes us radiant. I need not cover myself in shame. Angels surround those who fear the LORD, not those who fear the world.
That’s what I need my head and my heart to agree upon.
Because if they don't, fear overcomes the thrilling victories that come my way.
I need "always" to live the great adventure.