Arielle Estoria: Enough

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We ask ourselves everyday, are we are enough?

if we are someone worth holding, worth loving,

worth being told that we are beautiful, exquisite,

marvelous and everything in between?

Are we beautiful? Are we wanted?

We are broken pieces,

desperately seeking to find

wholeness in any possible place that we can.

Most times though, we fumble through this world as broken pieces trying to find wholeness in other broken pieces, it is the aspect of our inevitable humanity.

My broken piece has always been this “body love journey” of mine. I have wrestled with my physical self for as long as I can remember. Do you ever feel sort of stuck in your own skin? It doesn’t feel like home or a space where you can nestle deep into this skin because it was always felt like it belonged to someone other than who was inside of it. I have stared at myself in the mirror and cringed at what I’ve seen one too many times. Honestly, I will shallowly admit that it took losing weight and being active my sophomore year of college for me to feel comfortable with who i was. But I realized that at the core of it all, it wasn’t about the appearance necessarily, it was about the strength. The strength to believe that I was strong and capable, that this thick frame could climb a mountain, run a mile, lift weights or do good.

I didn’t believe in myself at all and I can’t lie to you and say that right now I’m great and I never have a bad day or whisper those ugly lies we have a tendency to do when no one is around. No no, instead I just learned that something had to change. Not necessarily me myself but how I view myself, the mantras and songs that I repeat to myself on a daily basis. Are they fulfilling? Are they reflective of who I truly am or are they lies that I feed to my starving self esteem ultimately leaving it still malnourished?

Mantras are important, they are the music to our everyday in order to hush the orchestra of what or who we should or shouldn’t be. My mantra is that I will do all that I can, with all that I am. That I will be determined to motivate myself with grace and growth and not anything less or more. My mantra is that today, I am enough and tomorrow I wills till be enough.

You see, we are just so damn hard on ourselves sometimes and that does nothing but keep us in the horrible mindset that who we are isn’t enough and that just isn’t true.

All this to say darlings...

I think it’s time that you

Danced a little harder

Dreamed a little bigger

I think it’s time that you

Sang at the top of your joy and cried at the depths of your sorrowI think it's time you lived and lived full

Time you shook of the haters or whatever

And walked like you just found rockets on the bottom of your feet

Because you were never destined for this place anywayI think it's time

You explored the universes in your own galaxy

And let yourself be captivated with your own shooting stars

Have you noticed that you trail glitter and gold everywhere you go?

There’s a radiance about you that just can't be described

Have you noticed that you are loved,

Loved recklessly by the creator of this universe

and he tells you I want all of youevery part of you

all that you think you're hiding

I want it all

I want the mess ups and the success

I want your tears and the ugly cryingI want that smileEvery teeth of itEvery dimple

I want all of you

I think it's time that we lived so boldly in this skin that we can call homeThat we encourage others to walk just as boldSow words of worth back into lovingI think it's time you hold yourself a little closer

and stopped filling empty spaces with empty people

I think it's time you stopped being so afraid of your own reflection in the mirrorDare to remember the fearfully made you were crafted inThe time is now,

yes the time is now.

Originally from foggy Nothern California, Arielle is passionate about the arts as a poet, blogger, and through both spoken word and motivational speaking with a "words for the soul and not for the ears motto". She is a lover of coffee and good conversation and a recent published author of her first collaboration book of poetry, Vagabonds and Zealots (available on Amazon).

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